Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Another Side Effect of Vaccines

I was seeing a charming little one-year-old girl who had two older sisters and a mother who is so cool she didn't even realize just how cool she is.

I enjoy chatting with this lady because her humor is just as dry as mine. She can also keep a straight face almost as long as I can, which is good, because one thing I tell people when they have children is this:
The hardest part of being a parent is keeping a straight face.
We did the checkup, and then the baby needed two shots.

Although the mom is a smart health professional, she still asked for some last minute reassurance that the shots didn't cause autism. I gave it. She was fine.

(This is how most of my "anti-vax" encounters go, by the way. Very few people are as hard-core crazee as the commenters on assorted posts about vaccines, and are easily reassured with information that the incidence of autism hasn't decreased since the removal of mercury from childhood vaccines for the last five year.)

She had one more question:

Mom: Will she cry?
Me: No.

Held the straight face too. And the baby did great; just a little whimper with the first, and only as I was done with the second did the wailing began. I pointed out that it was the mom's fault for holding her too tightly. That's why she was crying; not my fault.

Within a minute she was back in the waiting room playing with her sisters, while Mom and I kept chatting. We were enjoying our conversation so much that it took us a moment to realize the baby had wandered into the bathroom and was starting to play with the toilet water. As Mom scooped her up to wash her hands, she mock-scolded me:
See? She never did this before getting those shots. This is all your fault.
What could I say? Her point was valid. Gd help me at the fifteen month visit: I wonder what I'll get blamed for then?


At Sun Jul 15, 12:39:00 PM, Blogger Lynn Price said...

A quick, sharp wit is a mother's best friend. Seems you met your match, Dino!

At Sun Jul 15, 01:03:00 PM, Blogger Vitum Medicinus said...

That's awesome. I wish all my patients were like that. It would make the day go by so much quicker.

At Sun Jul 15, 11:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is your CMA too new and that's why you do the vaccines? Never heard of a doctor doing them in the office. Just curious. Love the blog.

At Mon Jul 16, 06:23:00 AM, Blogger #1 Dinosaur said...

Don't have a CMA. Don't have a nurse. Only 2 ladies at the front desk to answer the phones and take care of all the paperwork.

I do everything in the back: bring patients back, do vitals, EKGs, draw bloods, clean up and re-stock rooms, shots...all of it.

As for shots, I'm damn good at them, which is to say quick.

At Mon Jul 16, 03:46:00 PM, Blogger Sid Schwab said...

First time our kid had a classic temper tantrum (it was as if he'd read the manual and followed it to the letter) my wife and I looked at each other and started laughing. I suppose it scarred the child for life; still, it struck as totally funny. Bad parenting? Necessary sense of humor? You tell me. (As I recall, it might have also been his penultimate one.)

And, of course, your patient/mom reminds me of the classic line: "Doc, will I be able to play the piano after this operation?" "Of course." "Amazing. I can't play a lick now."


Post a Comment

<< Home