Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

How to Get Pregnant

With all due respect to my friend TBTAM and all her OBG colleagues, I recently offered a patient some advice that was so simple, so obvious, so logical, so down-to-earth that I'm not sure how often anyone ever actually comes out and says it.

About two months ago I saw a woman in her mid-30's who had been trying for some months to become pregnant, without success. They were doing everything "right" (no birth control; vaginal intercourse; no, he hadn't had a vasectomy, etc.) and weren't really "worried" yet. Still, I offered the following advice in the form of a family story told by my aunt, who had difficulty conceiving (well over fifty years ago; my two cousins are both closer to 60 than 50):
My aunt has this friend with a heavy Southern accent, who gave her the following advice: "Doan' moove. Doan' even covuh yuhself; let hubby pull up the blanket."
I should point out that in my family, pronouncing the words "Doan' moove" in that particular drawl never fails to provoke hilarity. As it happens, my patient had the same reaction when I said it to her. We kept on laughing as I elaborated about not getting up at all (even "just" to the bathroom) immediately after intercourse, allowing at least an hour or so for the swimmers to do their thing.

Today she came in again, laughing all over again. She'd had a positive home pregnancy test and was seven weeks along, by dates. I keep thinking "Doan' moove!" and I start laughing all over again. I even called my aunt to thank her. She was thrilled as well; once she finally stopped laughing.

9 Comments:

At Tue Feb 26, 09:19:00 AM, Blogger rlbates said...

Good story (and probably advice). Being from the south, I can just hear it -- Doan' moove. :)

 
At Tue Feb 26, 11:37:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL, I'm hearing it, too! I noted one time on my own medical records (Ah, the days before HIPAA when I grabbed my chart with impunity) that I had a tilted uterus. When we had trouble conceiving, I brought that to its logical conclusion and shall we say, got the swimmers to where they needed to go by simple body positioning. I got two boys, but I got me my babies!

 
At Tue Feb 26, 01:33:00 PM, Blogger Dkswife said...

Hee hee. Very funny indeed!

 
At Tue Feb 26, 04:58:00 PM, Anonymous orodemniades said...

Ah, if it were only that easy...

 
At Tue Feb 26, 06:10:00 PM, Anonymous Ami said...

Very funny :)

I can hear it.

 
At Tue Feb 26, 07:57:00 PM, Blogger Manda said...

That's how I got pregnant too. Twice. Well and I'm really bad at math and keeping track of dates too.

 
At Tue Feb 26, 10:54:00 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

doan' move, and elevate those hips, honey.

 
At Wed Feb 27, 07:18:00 AM, Blogger Evil Lunch Lady said...

Worked for me also!

Hubby used to say I was just lazy;)

 
At Wed Feb 27, 10:55:00 PM, Blogger TBTAM said...

Wonderful story! You should get your aunt t record ther advice and post it as an Mp3 file on the blog...

Ths story reminds me of one of my own....
http://theblogthatatemanhattan.blogspot.com/2008/02/how-to-get-pregnant-part-4-moms-medals.html

Thanks for the smiles :)

 

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