How Stupid Can One Cat Be?
So the other night I'm walking my dog (well, rolling her; she's a paraplegic Peke who uses the most adorable little wheeled cart) minding my own business. I turn the corner, and I see a man lying in the street.
Not the middle of the street; up against the curb, just before the corner. He had white hair, and one of his arms was stuck way down inside the storm drain as he lay sprawled on his stomach.
Being both a friendly and curious sort, I stopped and said, "Are you ok?"
He pulled his arm back and sat up, wiping his face.
"Yeah. Yutz-brain here decided to go see what was down there."
I stepped to the curb and peered down into the storm drain. Sitting on some dried leaves, about two feet down, looking up at us, perfectly content, was an orange cat.
"How did he get down there?"
"He just jumped in."
"Why?" Despite the fact that it was a meaningless question, I couldn't help myself. Kind of like when patients ask, "Why did I get sick?"
"Who the hell knows why? He's an idiot."
I looked back down at the cat to see if it had any reaction to being called an idiot. It looked back up at me as if to say, Don't mind him. He does this all the time.
"Can he get himself out?" I asked.
Interestingly, the man didn't actually answer me. He just lay back down in the street and sprawled against the curb. He reached back down into the storm drain and managed to grab the cat by the scruff of the neck and drag it out. The cat shook himself, none the worse for wear, and went over to a nearby bush which he proceeded to sniff and then spray.
"Come on, Dude. Let's go home."
The man walked off down the block, the cat following him. Not exactly walking along with him; more like a teenager in the mall. Stalking up to a house and sniffing the shrubbery; investigating a car in a driveway; sort of keeping him in sight, but maintaining enough distance so that no one would think they were together.
I was exceptionally proud of myself for keeping a straight face until they were out of sight before doubling over in helpless laughter.
posted by #1 Dinosaur @ 6:01 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
This was VERY funny! That cat was humiliated for being dragged out of there in public.
LMAO!
It sounds as if the two of them have some sort of understanding, Dr. Dino. *LOL* I bet they're interesting to watch in the home, too! ;o)
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As a veteran cat-raiser, I was forever getting into a battle of the wills with my various delinquent cats. It was always my stubborn mission to "win" a battle, which I rarely did. But one time I did. My cats were under threat of death not to sit on the dining room cushions but I suspected they did when I wasn't home. One day I sneaked home early and and peeked into the window---and sure enough there was my fat idiot cat sitting on a dining room cushion. I burst into the door, and before he could tear ass off that cushion I grabbed a candy bar out of the nearby Halloween bowl and flung it across the room, beaming that cat smack in the head in the best cat-head-bulls-eye I've ever done. I'm still congratulating myself on that. (Yes, yes, I know Peta wouldn't approve...but he didn't sit on the cushions for awhile...) (And yes I know I've told this story before, but you'd of had to been there to see just how satisfying it was to catch that dadgum cat doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to do...)
BRN: That sounds hilarious. You're so right about them knowing what they aren't allowed to do, and how not to get caught doing it.
Moof: 'nuff said.
DP: So did I.
Me: I get the impression the cat is used to the man's overprotectiveness. He seemed way too *cool* to let anything humiliate him.
When I read this post, I couldn't decide whether to laugh out loud uproariously, or go into "AWWWWWWWWWW" overdrive (I'm, uh, a serious cat lover. It's...not weird).
Heh. That's what cats do, don't they? They're far too egotistical to actually acknowledge that you own them. Not like dogs (which are also cute. I'm also a serious dog lover. It's...not weird).
AM: You can laugh. At this cat, at any rate. There are a ton of quotes to back up your view of cats:
"Having a dog is like having a baby. Having a cat is like having an interesting roommate from a different culture." ~The Feline Mystique
"Dogs come when you call. Cats take a message and get back to you later."
Stuff like that.
The story is hilarious, but I think this might be my favorite part:
So the other night I'm walking my dog (well, rolling her; she's a paraplegic Peke who uses the most adorable little wheeled cart) minding my own business.
Sorry, but do you have a picture of that?
Very funny the way you described their relationship. Our cat always seems to have his own agenda and every now and then include us. Our dog (a GSD) and cat have a love hate relationship. The Shepherd has a strong prey instinct and the cat seems to enjoy taunting him - like Wile E coyote and the Road Runner. :)
I used to walk my cat on a leash every day. He grew up in a house and would roam around on his own, and would yowl all night when we moved to an apartment, so a harness and nightly walks were the solution.
Walking a cat is pretty much just like you described. They would sniff at a bush, inspect some grass, and whenever he found a nice box he would jump into it and sit there motionless until I'd pick him up and move along.
The whole eight-block route could take an hour or more.
Everyone got to know me as the Cat Guy and I dear say that more than one were stifling laughter.
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