How Stupid Can One Cat Be?
So the other night I'm walking my dog (well, rolling her; she's a paraplegic Peke who uses the most adorable little wheeled cart) minding my own business. I turn the corner, and I see a man lying in the street.
Not the middle of the street; up against the curb, just before the corner. He had white hair, and one of his arms was stuck way down inside the storm drain as he lay sprawled on his stomach.
Being both a friendly and curious sort, I stopped and said, "Are you ok?"
He pulled his arm back and sat up, wiping his face.
"Yeah. Yutz-brain here decided to go see what was down there."
I stepped to the curb and peered down into the storm drain. Sitting on some dried leaves, about two feet down, looking up at us, perfectly content, was an orange cat.
"How did he get down there?"
"He just jumped in."
"Why?" Despite the fact that it was a meaningless question, I couldn't help myself. Kind of like when patients ask, "Why did I get sick?"
"Who the hell knows why? He's an idiot."
I looked back down at the cat to see if it had any reaction to being called an idiot. It looked back up at me as if to say, Don't mind him. He does this all the time.
"Can he get himself out?" I asked.
Interestingly, the man didn't actually answer me. He just lay back down in the street and sprawled against the curb. He reached back down into the storm drain and managed to grab the cat by the scruff of the neck and drag it out. The cat shook himself, none the worse for wear, and went over to a nearby bush which he proceeded to sniff and then spray.
"Come on, Dude. Let's go home."
The man walked off down the block, the cat following him. Not exactly walking along with him; more like a teenager in the mall. Stalking up to a house and sniffing the shrubbery; investigating a car in a driveway; sort of keeping him in sight, but maintaining enough distance so that no one would think they were together.
I was exceptionally proud of myself for keeping a straight face until they were out of sight before doubling over in helpless laughter.