Deserving

I was having a conversation with a patient the other day, chit-chatting after the visit. She asked how my writing was going and I shared a (potentially) very exciting development with her. She expressed her joy and congratulations, and then said,

"You deserve it!"

I smiled and thanked her, but grimaced a little inside. People have said that to me a lot, and I've learned to be polite at what is essentially an expression of good wishes; but in my heart of hearts I remain acutely aware of how much in my life is nothing more than good fortune; being in the right place at the right time; in other words, blind luck.

The writing development certainly fits in that category, as was being born into an affluent, intelligent family. The issue of "deserving" something comes under the rubric of Karma; or you get what's coming to you. The problem is that way too many times in my life I've seen things that defy the concept of cosmic justice. During my dating days I met lots of wonderful people who "deserved" to find someone equally wonderful, but never did. All kinds of dreadful crap gets published while fantastic authors remain undiscovered. The more you look around, just being "deserving" doesn't seem to count for much.

As I said, I've been lucky in my life. Sure, I've worked hard to make the most of the advantages I've been lucky enough to enjoy, but I still can't discount the role of pure, blind, deaf, dumb luck.

Why post on this topic today? Because a little more than seven years ago, I happened to be in just the right place at just the right time for what turned out to be the most amazing, wonderful lucky moment I could ever imagine. And today, I celebrate six of the best years of my life. Thank you so much, for everything, my Darling Spouse. Happy Anniversary. I love you.