Rant Alert: Attention, Pharmacists
To the friendly, trusted neighborhood pharmacist who told my 74-year-old diabetic patient with coronary artery disease and arthritis to stop his Zocor because maybe that's what was making his knees and hips hurt:
You fucking moron! Do you have any idea how hard I worked to get this guy to take this stuff in the first place? Do you know how long it took, how many visits over how many months of teaching, explaining, describing, convincing, persuading, cajoling and begging to get him to agree to even try this medication in the first place? Are you even aware of evidence-based guidelines that recommend statins for patients with diabetes and CAD? I assume you're aware he has these conditions BECAUSE YOU FILL HIS FUCKING Avandaryl, Diovan and Procardia!
And guess what, asshole: his knees and hips still hurt. Think it might be osteoarthritis? You think you'd never seen that in a septuagenarian before.
So thanks for nothing, fucktard. No matter how hard I work my ass off trying to educate my patients about the need for their various medications, you go and undo it all -- why? Because you can? Just to prove to yourself that patients hold you in higher regard than they do me? Think I can get you named as a co-defendant when he has a stroke and the wife sues because I wasn't following the guidelines? No, of course not. You'll just keep smirking there behind your counter, saving poor patients like him from us arrogant docs whom you claim don't know one tenth as much about drugs as you do. Well guess what, you cum-burbling trout-fucker [thanks, CrankyProf!]: you may think you know all about drugs, but you don't know the first motherfucking thing about using them in people.
So why don't you go down a bottle or two of tylenol and chase it with a quart of vodka for good measure. Your basal metabolism is contributing to global warming, and there are slime molds who'd make better use of the oxygen you consume.