One for All You Obstetrics Folks
I enjoy birth stories, and many of my patients are eager to share them. I would say that the bulk of amusing anecdotes stem from the part of the story where the baby is about to appear and the bevy of professionals attending the event stand around commanding the mother:
Don't push.Telling a woman at the end of the second stage of labor not to push is like telling the sun not to rise yet; you're still tired and you haven't finished your dream yet. Telling a woman with no cervix and a baby on her perineum not to push is like telling the tide not to come in; it's getting your blanket wet. In short, it's the stupidest pair of words ever uttered, yet they continue to be heard day in and day out, in hospitals and birthing rooms around the globe.
There is something I have come to realize.
Among those who actually know what they're doing -- midwives, L&D nurses and really experienced OBs -- the words "Don't push" are merely code. What they are actually saying when they articulate the words "Don't push" is this:
Please just let me get my gloves on.