How to Learn New Curse Words

Making the most of an opportunity:

1. Call husband of Darling Spouse's niece; the one who lives in Brooklyn and lives and dies by the Mets.
2. Casually ask if he happened to catch today's baseball game (Phillies 10, Mets 6)
3. Listen carefully.
4. Take notes.

Extra credit:

1. Ask what he thought of Mets' relief pitcher Jorge Sosa walking in the tie-breaking run in the 6th inning.
2. Ask what he thought of pinch-hitter Greg Dobbs' 6th inning Grand Slam home run right after the aforementioned tie-breaking walk.

Taking one's life in one's hands:

1. Say, "I lost count; how many errors did the Mets have?" (Answer: 6)
   
2. Say, "Remind me: how many times in a row now have the Phils beaten the Mets?" (Answer: 8)