Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Friday, January 09, 2009

How About Italian for Dinner

Sometimes I think we don't give our patients enough credit. To read about all the woo on the web, you'd think that patients are in our offices every day demanding all kinds of alternative remedies when in fact, there are times when it's the woo-mongers trying to force it down their throats -- and other orifices.

I saw a very nice lady with a vaginal yeast infection the other day. Vaginitis with candida albicans, the typical "yeast infection," consists of an intensely itchy, thick white curd-like discharge that, it is sometimes noted, smells like bread. Technically, it smells like bread dough. Why? Because both contain yeast.

I offered the lady medical treatment, which she accepted gratefully after telling me a story about a previous practitioner who had suggested the following regimen:
Peel several cloves of garlic and wrap them in cheesecloth. Pound the crap out of them with a mallet or other similar implement, and then insert the whole mess into the vagina.
Suffice it to say, the patient's preference was for Western medicine; that is to say, real medicine.

But it did get me to thinking that a woman who tried that particular remedy would probably just end up with a discharge that smelled like garlic bread.



(In conjunction with this post, I wonder how Coke wold taste with garlic bread; if you didn't happen to have a nice red wine on hand, that is.)

14 Comments:

At Fri Jan 09, 06:35:00 AM, Blogger Elaine said...

Oh, that is so gross - and so hilariously funny!

 
At Fri Jan 09, 08:49:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Garlic does have antifungal and antibacterial properties, although I would not put it in there if not desperate (on a desert island with only garlic as possible medicine)...
And it is probably very prickly too, raw garlic tastes sharp..

 
At Fri Jan 09, 09:57:00 AM, Blogger girlvet said...

bada bing!

 
At Fri Jan 09, 12:07:00 PM, Blogger Lynn Price said...

Good GOD, that's insane. I didn't think docs were allowed to prescribe altie methods.

 
At Fri Jan 09, 01:35:00 PM, Blogger Indigo said...

There are those who would try anything once..but i thought the whole idea of progress was to move away from old world medicine. I don't think I'll ever think of garlio bread the same again...(Hugs)Indigo

 
At Fri Jan 09, 02:03:00 PM, Anonymous Dr. Val said...

Ewww!!!

 
At Fri Jan 09, 02:31:00 PM, OpenID crankylitprof said...

Hell, I'll never look at red clam sauce the same way again.

 
At Fri Jan 09, 08:54:00 PM, Anonymous Sherry said...

As one who has used this method in the past (and will never use 'real medicine' measures again for a yeast infection), I can assert that it does in fact, work quite well and nearly immediately, and for none of the cost of a synthetic drug.

But no need for cheesecloth! Just take a nice large clove of the garlic, score it with a knife, and stick it in. Yeast infection gone overnight or in a more severe case 24 hours.

There is a reason God gave us all these plants, and it wasn't just so some pharmaceutical company could synthesize a plant extract and then patent it to make billions off the duped public.

 
At Sat Jan 10, 01:45:00 AM, Anonymous Amanda said...

I had a nurse midwife recommend putting half a cup of apple cider vinegar in bath water and soaking for 15 minutes or so...Never had a yeast infection since then...that was 10 years ago. Of course you smell like a pickle for a few minutes, but it's a little easier than smelling like Olive Garden every time you move.
PS This is THE only alt. treatment I ever use - I go to my family practice doctor for everything else.

 
At Sun Jan 11, 08:23:00 AM, Blogger Shay said...

I wish I had not read this just before breakfast.

 
At Sun Jan 11, 06:52:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, for pity's sake!

 
At Sun Jan 11, 10:23:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I heard of one gal who tried treating a yeast infection with yogurt...but didn't have the good sense to take it out of the 'frige and warm it up first! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that one!

I prefer modern medicine - garlic's good stuff, but I don't want it there,

 
At Tue Jan 13, 04:27:00 PM, Anonymous red rabbit said...

Oh just yuk. Now I have to throw out my garlic bread.

That's a new low, worse than the pathologists' obsession with cheese.

 
At Tue Jan 13, 11:20:00 PM, Blogger SeaSpray said...

Gatlic bread ha ha ha ...THAT's so funny! :)

 

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