Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Friday, April 17, 2009

My Son is a Dick

Phone rings at the office. Wonderful Staffer knocks on the door to interrupt me with a phone call.

My wonderful staff is well aware of the extraordinarily limited circumstances under which they are permitted to interrupt me with phone calls. One of these is when the call is from one of my children.

"It's the Jock," says MWS.

I excuse myself, exit the room and take the call. Here are the first words out of his mouth:

"I just got out of surgery."

I do not have an implantable cardiac defibrillator, so it takes a moment for my heart to resume its regular rate and rhythm as my mind races: Surgery! Accident? Fracture requiring open reduction? Other medical emergency? If he were scheduled for something elective, surely he would have told me.

Finally, after a period just long enough to catch my breath, he continues.

"Yeah. I saw a carpal tunnel surgery, and a knee get scoped, and I got to hold a kid's arm up after they reduced a fracture of his radius and put a cast on it."

As I gently exhale, I recall that the Jock's major is Athletic Training and that part of this semester's activities include shadowing an orthopedic surgeon.

"You know you're a dick," was all I said to him.

I could hear him smiling as he said, "Yeah, I know."


At Fri Apr 17, 05:53:00 PM, Blogger OHN said...

Hey...since when do you and I share a child?

My 19 and 20 year old "kids" love to make my heart stop and know exactly how to do it...the little bastards.

At Fri Apr 17, 09:13:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus, L---, that almost gave me a heart attack too!

He's a dick & so are you!

That's my poem for today.

Now I'm going to go away.


Kensington MD

P.S. Seriously, my heart's still pounding....

At Sat Apr 18, 09:51:00 AM, Blogger rlbates said...

Glad your heart didn't stop. Glad he is enjoying shadowing the ortho.

At Sat Apr 18, 11:02:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being a dick is the job requirement of any self-respecting kid. I carry around oxygen and a portable defibrillator these days since two of my three spawn enjoy this folly on a quasi-regular basis. My prayer is that they outgrow it. I'm not hopeful.

At Mon May 04, 03:28:00 PM, Anonymous Pam McCormick said...

I laughed out loud in cube world then tears because of the humor, the relationship, my own adult child, my lack of relationship with my parents and a million other reasons.Some of your stuff is simple yet blows me away THANKS!


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