Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago, my children were in Middle school. We were planning a joint Bar and Bat Mitzvah for the Jock and DinoDaughter. I was so proud of how grown-up they were.

Today, all my kids have traversed the High School graduation milestone with ease, navigated the bulk of their college years, and are now actively planning for life beyond schooling. I believe this is called "adulthood."

Ten years ago, this crotchety old guy I've known for years was taken off a cruise ship with ruptured diverticulitis and flown to Miami for emergency surgery -- including a colostomy -- in the middle of the night. I flew down to be with him for several days, and to spell his wife, who was caught in the middle of the rioting over Elian Gonzalez (remember him?) When the COG wrote a poem about his colostomy, we knew he was going to be fine.

Today, we're all still basking in the warm glow of last year's trip to Bermuda to celebrate his 80th birthday. His colostomy is history (when the doctor closed it, all the guy wanted to hear was, "Mr. COG, you have your asshole back." Instead, the doctor told the wife, "Mrs. COG, you have your asshole back.") although his abdominal wall is a scarred battlefield of assorted repaired ventral herniae. His mind is as sharp as it ever was, though.

Ten years ago, I was single, dating frequently, and hating every moment of it.

Today, I pinch myself every morning as I wake up next to the most Darling Spouse anyone could ever wish for. (I have another kid, too.)

Ten years ago, an orange cat was pissing off his original owners so thoroughly that they brought him back to the shelter where they got him.

Today, nine years after attaching himself to Darling Spouse and DenverDaughter when they went to select a cat at the behest of DS's late wife ("so he wouldn't have to come home to an empty house"), the Mighty Hunter lounges in the sunshine between presenting us with small former rodents and getting shot up with NSAIDs.

Ten years ago, everyone was getting their panties in a wad worrying about the ramifications of the Y2K bug, which turned out to be a whole lot of hot air over nothing much.

Today, everyone is all in a tizzy over health care reform, which I predict will, in retrospect, have exactly the same impact as did Y2K.

Ten years ago, I was busy berating the arithmetically challenged hordes insisting that a new decade was dawning today, instead of a year from today.

Some things don't change, even after ten years.

Happy New Year, everyone!