FOAD #2

I'll thank this writer to stop eavesdropping on me and my spouse!

Right Way:

Dear Love,

I, like you, regret that the last two days have been so rough. We are different in so many ways, and the rational, considerate part of me loves that about you. That you think I am pulling away for someone better saddens me (because it isn't true) and that is why I asked you to match apology for accusation two long days ago.

It seems we are at an impasse. The pragmatic, thoughtful side of me should have seen this coming. I guess I've lost some of those qualities since we became "like one." Oh, Love! Can we repair the damage of these two horrible days?

I think we can. Please, Dear, look on the bright side for it is not as bad as it seems. You say that you have no idea why you should apologize, but "sorry." That's appropriate, I think, since I have no idea why I would forgive you. We are still the same! I hope, from this common ground, we can rebuild.

Wrong way:

You harpy. Our marriage is sucking the good out of me. I should be so lucky to have better options, but I would never act on them because of THIS RING (points dramatically to ring). My faithfulness to you is that last thing remaining after all you've stripped, and you insult it?! You're right: how dare I ask for an apology after the way you feel. Nevermind the way you act and the things you say!

(Winded from the activity of dramatic protest, sighs) What's the use. I'll take your half-assed "apology." Just leave me alone so I can forget how unhappy I am. Yes, in the garage. Fine, I'll get the garbage (loathing escapes in mumbles).