So That's How it Happens
From a brittle old parchment unearthed during a treacherous archaeological adventure into the nether regions of my desk:
In the Beginning was the Plan.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying:
"It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said:
"It it a pail of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying:
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying:
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another:
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors then went unto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them:
"It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him:
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Shit Happens.
And then came the Assumptions.
And the Assumptions were without form.
And the Plan was without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.
And they spoke among themselves, saying:
"It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said:
"It it a pail of dung, and none may abide the odor thereof."
And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying:
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying:
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying to one another:
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Directors then went unto the Vice Presidents, saying unto them:
"It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying unto him:
"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects."
And the President looked upon the Plan, and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became Policy.
This is how Shit Happens.
7 Comments:
Best oldie but goodie I've seen in a long time.
AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA.
That's great. :D
Brillliant!
May I pinch it for a comment on the NHS? (Actually that is a retrospective request) :-)
It's an old one. I've seen it in the 80s. The first place where I saw it was in "Dictionary of IBM jargon" by Mike Cowlishaw (inventor of REXX scripting language). This story was given as an explanation of the meaning of word "euphemism". I don't think he invented this saying though, just quoted it.
Priceless! But, sadly, true.
That, apparently, is the mission statement of my hospital.
ooooooh, man, did you hit a nail on the head!
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