Please Tell Me This is a Joke
Pretty pretty please:
(US Patent #58-68140)
Neuticles allowing your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering. (emphasis added)Talk about poor copy editing; by all means, let's traumatize the poor thing more.
More, from the FAQ page:
My vet said my dog wont know that he's missing anything. Is that true?
People know their beloved pet. Their pet can tell them when they are hungry, want to play, don't feel well, hide when approaching the vet's office or will get excited when driving by or going to the park- why wouldn't the pet know a familiar body part is missing? Would he know if his foot was cut off? Of course he would- its only common sense.
Right. Feet; balls; all familiar body parts. Dogs understand exactly what testicles are and what they're for, and they treasure them just as much as their masters. Hell, they scratch them together in unison. Thank goodness. Now poor Fido will be able to get out there with his buddies around the fire hydrant without being embarrassed by his little snippy-poo.
Ho. Ly. Shit! Is there no limit to what you can sell to anthropomorphizing idiots?
Now if this thing is nothing but a fantastic farce, my hat's off to you; I'm not worthy. But I'm afraid -- really afraid -- that it's on the level. Words escape me.
UPDATE: Apparently it's not. Here's the patent.