Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous #1:

Friend talking about his daughter's last law school exam (not CrankyProf; congrats to Mr. Cranky too, though):

It must be such a relief; I told her it must feel like taking a really good shit.

Miscellaneous #2:

Phone call at 4:00 am:

Patient's husband: "My wife just fell down the stairs. Should I take her to the hospital, or just put ice on it?"

Me: "How badly is she hurt?"

Him: (muffled) "How badly are you hurt?"

Later: sharing the exchange with my staff; one of them asked me, "What was she doing up at 4:00 am?"

The only answer I could come up with:

"Going downstairs."

Miscellaneous #3:

Darling Spouse got an obscure answer correct on Jeopardy.

Me: "How did you know that?"

DS: "I'm smart."

Me: "No, really; how did you know that?"