Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Birthday Addendum

Thanks to the United States Preventive Services Task Force, the occasion of one's fiftieth birthday has come to include good-natured ribbing regarding one's newly acquired eligibility for colon cancer screening. I'm a doctor. I know this. I tell patients this all the time. So what did I do on the occasion of my fiftieth birthday?


I figured I would get around to scheduling one eventually. There was really no rush.

I had a regular day. I went to the office. I saw patients. I dealt with paperwork, including the mail. One item left on my desk was a short, stubby envelope from the local gastroenterology group. I opened it and removed an embossed card containing text in a font and format that looked like an invitation or announcement. I looked it over, expecting to see something like an announcement of a new associate. You know, something like,
"We are pleased to announce that Dr. Sigmoid Cecum has joined us in the practice of gastroenterology. Dr. Cecum has special expertise in the diagnosis and treatement of diseases of the sphincter of Oddi, and is now accepting appointments. We look forward to providing continued service to you and your patients."

It was an invitation to a special Saturday morning session for screening colonoscopies "for Physicians and Spouses Only," embossed card, fancy font and all.

That's right: I actually got an engraved invitation to schedule a colonoscopy on my fiftieth birthday.

What else could I do but schedule it? And for you sick individuals anyone who suggests either live-blogging or Twittering the procedure, all I can say is don't hold your breath. You are likely to rapidly turn an exceptionally unhealthy shade of blue.


At Mon Mar 09, 07:52:00 PM, Blogger Eric, AKA The Pragmatic Caregiver said...

Aww, c'mon, Dino!

Tweeting on Versed! THINK OF THE FUN! Think of the MASSIVE SHAMEOVER after reading your own disinhibited musings!

I look good in blue...


At Mon Mar 09, 09:04:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww, you made that up. Seriously?

At Mon Mar 09, 09:09:00 PM, Blogger #1 Dinosaur said...

Anon: Srsly!

At Mon Mar 09, 10:47:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

no biggie doc. better than not doing it and finding out you waited too long, right?

At Mon Mar 09, 11:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you should try this; a free colonoscopy with a trip to NYC is even a better deal. /.

At Tue Mar 10, 02:31:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do physicians get a more thorough colonoscopy? Do they want one?

At Tue Mar 10, 07:37:00 AM, Blogger Resident Anesthesiologist Guy (RAG) said...

The big rubber snake. I have to start getting those about hx and all.

At Tue Mar 10, 02:38:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wuss. You should document it for SCIENCE!

At Wed Mar 11, 08:46:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you also get an AARP discount on this?

At Wed Mar 11, 10:36:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Atleast the specialty of the sphincter of Oddi you made up, right?

At Sat Mar 14, 08:22:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since you have not had one as yet, I feel the need to tell you that, as a experienced colonscopy recipient, you are pretty gassy afterward to the point that they won't let you leave until you've raised the roof a bit. I'm guessing that the doctors are just trying to prove that you are now truly just an Old Fart. :-)
Happy Birthday from the other March birthday girl who is rapidly approaching the big 50!


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