Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Post Partisan Depression

There is a newly described psychiatric malady sweeping America these days known as Post Partisan Depression. There are two distinct subtypes with subtly different manifestations.

Type D:

--Obsessive use of the term "President-Elect Obama"
--black & blue marks from pinching oneself to ensure that oneself is awake
--idiot/savant-like awareness of precisely how much time is left until noon on January 20th, 2009.

Type R:

--Obsessive use of terms such as "Socialism," "Marxism," and "Goodbye to my hard-earned paycheck."
--Compulsive waving of the book Atlas Shrugged while commanding everyone to read it and exclaiming, "Who is John Galt?"
--idiot/savant-like awareness of precisely how much time is left until noon on January 20th, 2009.

Manifestations common to both subtypes include tachycardia, sweating, restlessness, insomnia, tendency towards assorted spontaneous verbal outcries (specific to each subtype) and generalized activation of the sympathetic nervous system.

There appears to be no predilection for one sex or the other; reported male to female incidence is 1:1.

There is some question over whether or not age is a relative risk factor. In some parts of the country there seems to be an increased incidence in younger populations, but this is not borne out globally.

Treatment is mainly supportive, as the condition will likely subside with time. Both types respond to sympathetic head nodding and utterances such as "You betcha!" (albeit with different inflections.) Hugs should be administered liberally to both types.

(Credit to my brother, RFS MD for coining the term, and my sister, MSD Esq., for the first set of diagnostic criteria.)

15 Comments:

At Sat Nov 08, 08:57:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My impression is that there must be a genetic component, at least to type D. I have various siblings, not to mention a paternal aunt, who seem to be dealing with (but not exactly suffering from) this very condition.

However, there may also be environmental factors involved as well, since my sister-in-law is dealing with a rather severe version too.

Kensington MD

 
At Sat Nov 08, 10:47:00 AM, Blogger Lynn Price said...

Pretty damn funny, Dino, even tho I'm Type R (or really Type C - Conservative) and am suffering the maladies described here. So...like...who is John Galt?

 
At Sat Nov 08, 11:47:00 AM, Blogger SuSaw said...

hehehehe

and how old are you lynn price? from the book "Atlas Shrugged"

 
At Sat Nov 08, 01:42:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm type R.

 
At Sat Nov 08, 02:14:00 PM, Blogger Lynn Price said...

I'm over a half century old, Susaw, and read Atlas Shrugged in my early thirties when I saw the country leaning decidedly to the left. I wanted to know just how bad it could get. Scared the shit out of me, so I hope like heck the book remains a part of the fiction genre, but I'm not holding my breath. Time to up my meds!

 
At Sat Nov 08, 03:36:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, I think the question is currently being phrased, "Who is John the Galt?"

Kensington MD again

 
At Sat Nov 08, 04:08:00 PM, Anonymous James said...

Nice post - you hit the nail on the head. The onion makes the same point with this clever video.

 
At Sat Nov 08, 06:30:00 PM, OpenID crankylitprof said...

As one Type-R to another, perhaps we could request that they incarcerate us in the same mental health facility, Lynn.

 
At Sat Nov 08, 09:29:00 PM, OpenID drbobbs said...

I'm seeing patients with the type-R variant in my office.
I believe that this type-R variant of Post Partisan Depression can be traced back to a November 2006 outbreak of Political Neuropathy: http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/11/why_republicans_lost.html

I suspect any successful treatment will have to be...conservative.

 
At Sat Nov 08, 11:44:00 PM, Anonymous fudgelady said...

I resemble this diagnosis! (As evidenced by my blog lately.)

Should I join Probamazac Nation?

About those hugs: Those should be administered liberally to Ds, and conservatively to Rs.

 
At Sun Nov 09, 10:44:00 AM, Blogger Lynn Price said...

I'll make the reservations, Cranky. I found a lovely place down here in Palm Springs, where I'm visiting my folks. It's called the Betty Ford Clinic. They assure me that they'll ply us with gin all the Twinkies we can ingest.

 
At Mon Nov 10, 08:35:00 AM, Blogger mark's tails said...

Dino wrote, "Hugs should be administered liberally to both types."

Are you sure you want to use the term 'liberal'ly??

 
At Mon Nov 10, 10:51:00 AM, OpenID crankylitprof said...

If a liberal tries to hug me, I'm layin' him/her out.

 
At Mon Nov 10, 06:42:00 PM, Anonymous Amanda in Alaska said...

Hmm... I keep muttering the phrase "hell in a hand basket"... Now I know why.

 
At Tue Nov 11, 07:37:00 PM, Blogger Spike said...

you missed one symptom
Type R:
-idiot/savant-like awareness of precisely how much time is left until noon on January 20th, 2013.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home