The PS is what does it!
As you know, I have always been a truthful person and have always appreciated the truth in return. Your recent actions, which caused only minor disruptions to the lives of my mother, sister, stepsister, brother, and stepbrother; their dog; my girlfriend, real dad, and stepmother; and me (also to those of your own parents, three sisters, and two brothers; also, five neices, four nephews, and several cousins; finally, those of hundreds of your past and current business associates), would have been quite an aberration for someone who is normally reliable; for you, though, who was previously established to be a moderately less-than-truthful person, the several hundred of us perhaps should have been more privy to your real dispositions. If I had to equate you as a person to a primitive life form, which I don't but will anyway, I would most likely assign you to one of the genus of bottom-dwelling aquatic organisms, such as the small-headed sole (A. microcephala).
Thanks for everything!
PS: Your given name doesn't quite wholly convey how I feel about you, but considering its brevity, it will have to do for now.