FOAD #23

The PS is the kicker:

McGriff Pools and Fountains
1220 Wewatta Street
Denver, CO

Dear Mr. McGriff,

Amazed. Dumbfounded. Incredulous. These are three of the happier adjectives to describe my feelings about the "pool" you've built us. Being a big fan of the movie Spinal Tap, I suppose I should appreciate the humor in having a twenty-inch by fifteen-inch swimming pool in my backyard, but the situation is far from humorous. At six inches deep, the pool gives new meaning to the words "watering hole."

I realize that you're a very busy man. In fact, before I left that morning, you spent over two hours on your cellphone trying to convince someone named "Lucinda" that you didn't give her "the nasties." What's more, the rest of your crew didn't seem to have time to step around our flower garden or to use the facilities when urinating. Still, I would have imagined that you would have taken a moment to study the details of the job, particularly the difference between the symbols for inches (") and feet (').

Now, I'm not sure from which evolution-free pocket you and your staff arose, but as a whole you seem to have been spared the burdens of common sense, intelligence and, as my children pointed out, hygiene. Even my cocker spaniel could have figured out that nobody wants a twenty-inch swimming pool. I am therefore returning your bill for $3,500 unpaid.

Sincerely,

ps. From the way you were scratching, I'd bet you DID give Lucinda the nasties.