Musings of a Dinosaur

A Family Doctor in solo private practice; I may be going the way of the dinosaur, but I'm not dead yet.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

FOAD #26

Now that's what I call hardball:

Dear scurrilous bastards,

Your happy horseshit grows tedious. Produce the contract, or Ginger dies.

I regret that our business relationship has fallen upon such hard times. Our firm has tried to work with you in good faith, and we cannot begin to express the disappointment we feel in our hearts as we make this ultimatum.

Tender the contract and let the girl live.

Appalled as I am by your conduct during these contentious negotiations, I trust that cooler heads within your organization will prevail, and that you will ultimately make the right decision, for your business, and for your entire family.

Her deadline is noon tomorrow.

We trust that the potential loss of a loved one will not in any way affect our standing with regards to the Fuergeson contract, nor our ongoing relationships and future business ventures over the up-coming years.

Warmest regards to you and your family during this blessed, Holiday Season!


At Tue Feb 06, 10:21:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, but the problem with these accountants is, there's just no follow through.

At Tue Feb 06, 01:33:00 PM, Blogger Dave Fragments said...

I love the "warmest regards..."
It's such a proper ending to official correspndence.

At Wed Feb 07, 01:36:00 AM, Blogger JPD said...

#11 is double-dipping, kicking my ass twice when once would have been sufficient.

Her comment was still brilliant, and the most concise, targeted, FOAD comment yet!

JPD (doubled over with pain now, across multiple venues, timelines and websites.)


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