Dear Mr. Claus,
Mentioned in the body of this letter is the gift I received from you this year. I gratefully acknowledge the "fishnet with something sweet in a stocking" as the card read, and would kindly like to wish you the same "joy" I received from you in the coming new year, one befitting the spirit and love you have shown me with this unusual prize.
As you may not know, I am presently residing at the BelFair Hospital in my home town, suffering from a rather nasty bacterial attack. It seems that the fishing net you placed in my stocking was covered with small microbes from the third world cess pool where you purchased the net. It is not hard to understand how wrapping the fishnet around the chocolate bars might transfer these pesky little critters to the candy. A more judicious Santa might have sent the chocolate under separate cover.
As a token of my esteem for this little adventure, I have decided to set out some special cookies for you this year. Bon Appetit!
In closing, I would suggest that you take a moment to have your dyslexia checked and corrected as needed. What I asked for was "something sweet in fishnet stockings." Both your gift and my request are useful items, but hardly interchangeable.