Maybe I can pick up a science lab and a dorm or two:
While I admire the quality liberal arts education you have been providing to students for approximately 160 years, I have found that, in my own collegiate experience, some of the administrative staff has lost sight of what is really important at a college. That is, the education of the students. As a result, I would like to announce my resignation as Active Alumna, and inform you I will no longer be contributing to the development of this institution. I wish you all the best, and when the doors close, I'll be at the yard sale.