I hear you have lately met up with my old roommate, Lauren. I'm so happy for you both.
Wow, it's been a long time. But it must seem like an instant to you! Lauren confides that you recall me saying she was "bad." Goodness, that must have been nearly six years ago, yet you remember it so clearly! I had no idea I occupied such a prominent place in your memory. And, lest you believe I could fail to remember *you* with corresponding detail, I wracked my brain for amendments to my initial recommendation of your character (for I'm sure you will agree that simply saying someone is nice and smart and possessed of a wry sense of humor is not at all the same as having something *specific* to say.) So I was very glad to hear that you described your total relationship experience as "one girlfriend for six years...off and on." Well, I thought of several ways to expand upon this modest recital. Unfortunately, I am slightly incommunicado just now, and I was never as attentive to rumor as I might have been. I was able, however, to give Lauren a general idea of what (or who) "off and on" might have entailed on your part.
Anyway, I beg your pardon for my earlier recommendation. It must have seemed to you insultingly brief. Perhaps if you'd like to reminisce over any more of my old hijinks, you might contact me directly. I always love to hear about myself.