I love the salutation; I think I'll take it as a new nickname:
Dear Dr. Band-Aid:
Thank you for you kind and supportive care. You were always there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on.
Although you missed my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, and the gall bladder disease, not to mention the hernia, the Hydradenitis Suppurativa, the Crohns, the high blood pressure, and the other unspecified autoimmune disease, I did feel much better over those ten years because of the Zoloft. I can't tell you how good it made me feel about being miserably sick. And to think that I could have been horribly ill AND depressed!
I also want to thank you for failing to diagnose and refusing to test my daughter for Hashimoto's. No, it wasn't stress that caused her hair to fall out. Thanks to you, she no longer has that incredibly thick mane of hair. It is now nice and thin and much easier to manage.
You may have noticed that we don't consult with you anymore. That's because when I nearly died in the emergency room, the physician there insisted that I see several specialists. I told him that wasn't really necessary "and that you'd said so" but he wouldn't hear it. I am now in the care of very expensive doctors and I just wanted to let you know how much I miss you. I will call you to say hi when I recover from all my surgeries.